I'm on vacation

World's Worst Best Friend Ever

Calmly. Quietly. Merciless. He awaited. Two years. Finally, when they broke up the relationship, he was there to console him by day and her at night, always at night.

Virus

I was writing a message to break up our relationship. I was not capable to tell her personally. All of a sudden, I lost the text. I lost all my files, to tell the truth. Devastated, I realised that I need her in these moments, so I gave up to write and call her crying.

Flirt

The clock works against me. They surround her. I feel under threat. My foes noticed that I'm too scared to act. She doesn't give a damn. I have no chances anymore. When I finally leave my job and get paid, it is too late.

Wild Bitch

Angela's fragile countenance is fake. She's bigger than me, I almost forgot that. Sometimes I think she's a living proof of Freud's theory: Angela got penis envy. She likes to fuck with everyone's life. Yesterday, when she threatened me, I gave to her all my salary.

Daydreaming Vendetta

Birthday. 55 y-o. Instead of dreaming about the gifts from his grandsons, he wakes thinking about how to fuck with his ex-wife's life. He can image a lot of ways to kill her. At noon, his birthday party starts: a phone call from his ex-mother-in-law. His ex-wife is dead.

Sunday morning

From the sea, he saw she disappearing in the sand. Worried about surfing and carving the perfect tube, he forgets the woman, but she's thinking of him while fucking with her lover.

Ladykiller's Dream

The argument is rising as an earthquake from the depths of their mutual hate. "Bitch", "whore", "I'll kill you", all the classic bullshit is spoken out loud. From the door, proud of himself, he smiles.

Too Late

2 A.M. When he called to forgive she was already dead.

His last words

He was at the office and suffered a stroke. Lying in the arms of his boss, he said: "I hate you". The fear of retaliation had disappeared.

Exploited

- You must finish this till 5 p.m., ok?
- But my arms are killing me, I need to go home. I can't stand the pain anymore.
- That's your problem. We are a team and we need to fulfill some goals.
- Could you at least cut my arms off and replace them with cybernetic tools? So I could tell to my kids that I'm a cyborg.
- That's it! You could tell to your kids that you are fired.

Kluge

Your brain works all the time. You talk everything you think, it's unstoppable. Even when you're sleeping, you murmurs all the time. That's why you need nurses as company, you don't know what you're doing or talking. Nobody's stand you. But, yeah, sometimes you recovers your conscience and we can talk with you. When this shit started? Thirteen years ago.

Scissors

I was listening to Ramones and Todos Tus Muertos when she starts to bitch about our marriage and lack of money. I locked the door of the bedroom, just like I used to do when my mom wants to put me down. But that was OUR room, not mine anymore. When I opened it, she was waiting me with scissors in her hands, ready to attack. I ran away and never got back.

Cold coffee

He woke up earlier that day and went to the airport. She was sleeping and didn't listen to his goodbye or noticed the kiss in her forehead. She felt warmth by him drinking the coffee he made at dawn. At the same time, the plane was falling down in the mountains.

Karoshi

He worked at home. He worked at work. He worked in dreams. Nobody worked the day he died.

Ravisher

I know. She isn’t beautiful. It was her skin that attracted me. White as paper sheet, waiting a drawing from me. I’m not a racist, don’t get me wrong. I like it for other reasons. I’ll confess: I liked her because it seemed to fuck a dead body. Expect for the fact she was warm. So it was perfect. She made no sound, ever. Her eyes were empty and her face has no expression. And she liked this way. When she came once in a while I heard a whisper, but it sounds like a last sigh. Now, nine years since she broke with me, I have this funny sensation. It is like she’s really dead. I miss her.

Fate

I was born in Brazil, which means: I was raped at birth. Screwed from the start, I'm a waiter at a brothel. It makes sense.

Hell follows him

They are the scumbags who fucked his attempts to play soccer when he was a kid. "Fags cant' play", they said then. Now, as teenagers, they really fucked him in the alley. The fatty one puked in his back when he finished.

Hangover

A heckler heals her head in the hospital. "What the hell is happening?...".

Rapetition

I work hard all day. Now I can't write without pain anymore. A gift from my employers. I hope their eyes hurts the same way if they read this suicide note.

Thanks to o+< for the inspiration, I stole the title from one of their songs.

Stealing People’s Mail

The postcard was from UK and was signed by someone who seems to enjoy black metal. The signature looks like an incomprehensible logo. “Hi hun. Good news: I’m working in a pub now. I’m bloody happy nowadays. My brother got a job too: the wanker is a postman now. He probably will deliver this card. Haha. Luv ya, bitch. Take care.” Another cool one to the collection.

Get a life

- Man, stop blogging about corporate media pretending to be a journalist.
- I will make money with the blogsphere.
- Very anti-corporate no less.

No hope in sight

Prostraded, he is informed about his prostata.

It hurts

His fake twitter has no followers, but he pass his time reading about the other peoples lives on it.

Women dogs men

When she called in the middle of the night my cellphone played Love Will Tear Us Apart, I don't know why. I never dowloaded this song. She did for me, for sure. For the first time, in two years, I get back to sleep. I crawled for her, lost my girlfriend, my job, my self-esteem, lots of money and now even my dog, murdered by her husband. That's enough.

They love that word...

Fuck. Happy Valentine's Day.

Daddy and mommy's little girl

Depression got a hold on me. So dem cooked some cookies, like I was a 10-y/o. I felt fat and even more depressed. Great.

They cramp my style

No means no. No, I'm not talking about the band. Cool band, by the way. I'm talking about you and me.

My mother didn't caught the joke, of course. "Go to your aunt's house and do what I told you to do. And after that buy the onions in the market or I will beat the fuck out of you". She is talking seriously.

My math thesis lies dormant on the drawer. My dreams of being recognized with fifteen years old are a joke to them.

Baldfaced Lie

We will take care of you, her parents said three years ago, when she came back home. Always stoned, pregnant and tired of sucking cock for some crack cocaine, she believed in them. In the church, blackmailed by the priest, laying down on the dirty floor, she remembers the best times of her life, four years ago, before all the shit happens, when she was eleven yers old.

A night like any other in any so-called small peaceful town

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Two years ago

Damon beat them up with the billy club when he arrived at home and saw them fucking in the kitchen. His best friend, an old history, sounds ludicrous. The blood dripping from her curly hair reminds Damon the day both of them lost their virginity. All policemen, of course, testified to help to drop the charges against him. He is so innocent today than he was back then.

Teen idol

Somewhere out there, a lot of girls are dreaming of him, thinking about a fantastic marriage. Meanwhile, he is stoned in a motel, fucking a travestite.

Teen time machine

Drifting alone through the shopping mall, she vomited in the shadow of a toy exposed in the corridor. Few people saw, but she felt as ashamed as in high school, when everything and everyone and specially she sucks.

23/04/2009-26/04/2009

Ravishment

She came up with the idea, actually. I’ll be always in debt with her because I blockaded a memory of my adolescence. When I was a kid, well, a teenager, I have this sort of fantasy just because the first porno magazine that I saw in my whole life was this shitty stupid little rag hidden beneath the father’s bed of my then girlfriend. He was (still is) a sick motherfucker. It was a photomontage of a history placed in the future, depicting a vampire (!) doing a lot of women with latex clothes with blood dripping. I was playing peek-a-boo in her house, that’s the reason why I found it. Horny as hell, I locked in their bathroom. That girl never allowed me to do anything before or after this day and, I don’t know why, I never wanted to convince her to any sexual interplay. Probably it was because my little girlfriend was a bore anyway and I was too young.

For some months I have had these violent fantasies, but I totally erased from my head, like it was a dark side put down aside for healthy reasons.

So, twelve years after, I just can’t imagine that scene. After two years of relationship, she became complaining about the routine, but I thought everything is just fine. Until one night, just when I was taking off my uniform, all of a sudden, she smiled to me and walked till my room, laying in my bed. I understood. But he started to complain when I was opening the zipper of her trousers. Astonished, I stopped immediately, but she said “go on” to me. So, after a second, she began to ask me to stop, so I stopped again. She smiled to me and said again “go on, even if I cry, please”, so I figured it out and loved the idea. An insight came out to my mind: if you really want to stop, just says “game over” and I will stop. She agreed nodding her head, looking really excited, smiling like a sun in a child’s drawing. Promptly we set out the rules.

I opened up her zipper and she started begging to me to not do that. So I grabbed her two hands with my right hand, I am really bigger than her, and took off her jeans while she was swinging beneath my body, trying to escape. She was wearing red panties, I never saw her with red panties. I tried to take off her shirt, but I can’t do it with only one hand, so I release her hands and she, weakly, tried to push me. I knew she was having fun, she was really strong, in spite of being a small girl. So I slapped her in the face and she could not hide a little smile. Now I was really turned on and I tore off the old t-shirt she was wearing. Her small breasts, how I miss them, were scarlet and pointed. Sounds like shit, I know that, like I was idealizing the past, or the kind of rough report printed in old naked women’s magazines, but she never looked so beautiful.

She pushed me again and was not easy to take away her panties. To tell the truth, I can’t manage to do it, she continued to push me, so I just pulled the cloth for the side and, this time, grabbed her hands with the both of mine.

It was REALLY healthy. She shone in those days. I never saw her so affectionate. We did it again two or three times and I will never tell to anyone what happened. It will sound like a lie. She never cried.

When she finished the relationship, two years after, because she thought we’re not passionate anymore, I cried, what did not happen with me since I was a boy.

DEDICATED TO JOB

19/04/2009

Li’l buddy

Everybody ignored Zach in his youth. Nobody gives a fuck about him, really. Nowadays he is a druglord and nobody cares too. Nobody knows the truth. But he remembers all the shit people threw in his face.

Defect

Sigh. Moan. Cry. Fuck. Smile. Death. Mourning. Trial. Human.
03/04/09

White Noise

Buzz in her brain. She was looking to Carol’s photography. The only one left. Carol is naked, her finger inside Carol’s pussy. She masturbates looking to it with her head exploding. When she finally came, she fell in the floor with a nosebleed, tired and alone, screaming for Carol. The noise never went away. The tinnitus fucked with her musical career. The Larvas doesn’t exist anymore and Carol is married with a sexist pig. It’s not fair, but who gives a fuck? Nobody buys their records anymore. She can’t listen to them, because it hurts in all the ways possible. Her mother found the body in fetal position.

28/01/2008

Utter loneliness

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Junkie

The worst happened: fucked up and alone, she came back home and was raped again and again.

The future is blight

…so, apart of it, I can deal with her. Sometimes, I was there when she needed me, but when the opposite occurred, that’s not my fault. But she blames me for that all the time. So, one day, she, abruptly, stopped to doing that. I leave for good that day.

Ignorance explodes in the breakfast

Nobody here likes suicidal tendencies. Anywhere, you bet. If you think life don’t worth shit you you’re not welcome in this family anymore. Don’t talk to me about depression, this is a rich trend. If you don’t like to work and help your mother, she’s ill, you know, it’s better to kill yourself indeed.

Tantalized

She doesn’t deserve any mention, but I can’t stand it. I want to get rid of her memories. That’s impossible, you know. I’ll just tell you a little dirty secret. She likes to fart when I put 4 G on her. I’m sure that now you’ll want to date her, yo fuckin’ pervert.

A Good Friend

Have you noticed? I gave myself a break. You will flip over about this girl.Tough call? Don’t toy with me. She pops in once in a while and I don’t want to see her again. Please, save my life.

Proud to be an asshole

Melvin was there, annoying everyone, smiling to himself when, from time to time, he saws his face in the mirror behind the balcony. The bar is far and the rain was cruel that night. It was a trap, he knew, but nobody never thought about that. He was sure of his capacity of being faster, smarter and stronger than anyone, at least regarding that drunk losers. Today, in his funeral, I admire Jane for her bold attitude.

31/01/2009

Alive

When Chris found out that she is a boy, he makes pee on his panties. His freak mother became disappointed, but to him wasn’t embarrassing. It was liberating.

Birthday

Too much angst thinking about your last days.

Goddamned Babbitts

Every time I have to deal with them, I freak out. Every cool project that we made was always refused by all of them. I don’t comprehend it. These people don’t like to earn money? Now I finally saw a good project been approved. Jesus, I wrote this last week and it really happened. Sounds like that movie Stranger Then Fiction. We’ll be rich and happy because of this.

A Good Job

Reassuring his position in the high echelons of the city hall after beating the spokesman to political death, Joseph turned out to be a worst person than he already was. Egomaniac to the point of really believes that there is such thing as a “high echelon” of the mayor’s office of a tiny town, he started to jockey for positions inside the federal government. Of course, no one remembered him when he mentioned the rallies on “his” town. Anyway, he came back from capital and opened up a pirate radio, saying the Commission allowed him to do it. He never showed his license to anyone, including the farmers who back him with funds. After attack the mayor of a bordering city, a protégé of the governor, the Feds close “his” radio, but Joseph has a resilience that annoys anyone: with photos of the mayor and his mistress in hands and copies in strongboxes, he is the Karl Rove of the swamp.